Of a free mind.....

Sooo much can be said in this blog post… and I really do hope that those who have caused this, read this……..

Everyone goes through hard times in their life. So this is the most vulnerable I think I am ever going to make myself when it comes to posting a blog. As a musician, I am naturally a lonely hearted person… meaning that I get hurt easily, and I do things that most look at and thing of being weird, different, or not accepted by society. Recently, my family has gone through a very trying time and a very hard situation. On top of that, my heart has been just all over the place. I have been confused for a long time about what I want to do, where I want to be, and I can admit that my moral compass has been off on certain things. It takes a lot for me to sit and type all of this, but its important for me to explain myself, the show cancellation, and what I am going through because maybe, just maybe, others have been through something similar.

A lot can be said that “all is well that ends well”, if that is even a statement that makes sense. I am not proud of many things I have done in my life, thats for sure….. I don’t want to fake it anymore and act like I never have lied, never have done wrong in certain situations. We all have, and we usually make excuses to cover them up, yet, don’t realize that it usually makes us look worse. I won’t get SUPER personal about things with my family. For those who know me personally, they know that its been a very hard past couple of weeks. And I want to thank my closest friends and family who have been there for me. But I want to talk a bit about those who aren’t there for me, or rather, for anyone who is down.

Recently, and I literally mean 5 min ago, I was completely slammed about things I did over years ago, and I mean over 2 years ago. Nothing really super embarrassing or terrible. But I, like many, have been lonely, in silence about it, and just was basically desperate at that time. What some people decided to do, is basically stomp on me, for no reason. I did no harm to anyone, I caused no dramatic experiences, but some feel that its “cool” or “real” to hate on those who are obviously going through tuff times. Its demoralizing really. It really hurt me to hear what others were saying about me, that is the honest truth. See, sometimes people will read things, automatically think they are true, and then just talk about them behind other peoples back. And like I have said, so many times, just talk to the person that is in question. Get a clear idea of what they are going through and you might be able to understand why they did the dumb things they did, or what is really going on. 

Despite some popular belief, I am a pretty well minded good man. And terrible things have happened to me that I can not control. Yet of course those immature people would rather just plaster me and make me feel worse, than just talking to me. Its fine, I am stronger because what I am going through, and I will admit, that sometimes you need to sit back and reflect and feel what you need to fix about yourself. It takes a strong person I feel to put what I am talking about out there. It takes a VERY weak person I feel, to make others feel bad or worse about themselves, or drive their feelings into the ground even more because it makes you feel higher than them, or makes you feel better than them. For those who have done that, I just want to say, you have accomplished what you wanted. I personally feel terrible, I personally am going through a hard time. Congratulations, you win I guess on that note…. but one day, you will be confused, hurt, and going through a lot, I pray that no one puts you down at that time, but its making me stronger, so for that I thank you.

So now on to my family…… family is a word that people take for granted. I recently went through a terrible accusation months and months ago, and I found out who was really there for me, and who really wasn’t. For that, I am actually thankful for. I know what I have done, and what I have not done in my life, and I know who is and isn’t there for me, and it has made me a better person. My nuclear family is currently going through tuff times as well, and I need to take my time and take my heart and push it towards those whom I love and love me back. So for now, I have to cancel my pageant show…..

My album will still be released on the 25th of august on iTunes and on the Store here at marty-b.com. The new merchandise will still be available online as well. And I will still be doing weekly shows and traveling and doing acoustic shows. That will not stop…. I will be doing the pageant show still. The date is just going to be moved as of now, I have to focus my time and energy on my life right now. Fix what is broken, and mend what needs mending. It might take awhile, but in the end I will be happy, and that is what matters. I have hit rock bottom, we all go through that for sure…. its what you do when you decide to get back up that really counts. I will be better because of this, and I will be able to move on and I WILL be back on stage soon. For all of my fans, I want to thank you very much for the support, hope you enjoy the new album. Although I am just canceling this one show… I will not stop with music, I will be back soon and it will be amazing I promise you. So I hope to see you all at my bi-weekly shows still and I appreciate the understanding that you have given me. Thanks and god bless.

MB

So interesting is the saying… when it rains it pours, and when trouble comes the world falls down around you. But does it? Or does sometimes when it rains, it makes the light seem brighter, or when trouble comes, people come who care. I want to talk relationships… yea I know, a burnt out subject that is for sure, however, its something we all deal with. Tonight a friend of mine is doing something that we all hate doing, letting go of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Its hard, its never easy, if it was, we wouldn’t call it breaking up. It would be something like, “happy endings” lol well maybe not like that but you get the drift… So first, lets talk about why we all wait SOOOO long to do it. 

WE ALL DO THIS, we wait, and procrastinate and build it up to something worse than it really is. Its pretty simple in my mind. See, there is someone for everyone, period. So if who you are with is not the EXACT person you want, or they are giving you EXACTLY what you need, then obviously your not going to be dressed in white for them, or from a guys prospecting having them walk down the aisle. But we wait, why? Well I think its because we all have bigger hearts than we give ourselves credit for honestly. We perceive things with the notion of what its going to do to the other person, rather than think what its going to do for us. See, sometimes in life you have to be selfish, SOMETIMES. And its great to say that we accommodate for others feelings, but by waiting, and/or not breaking it off when you know its not there, really saving their feelings at all? Or is it making it worse. To me, its answered by a simple question. Would you rather get a bullet to the brain, or get five in the chest and bleed to death? Kind of a brutal example, but it makes sense. If they aren’t the one for you, then by simple math, you are not the one for them. Even though being the “break-ee” or the “breaker” has such a huge impact on how you are after the breakup, it really shouldn’t, because in the end, you will both get what you want, and be happy forever. And its up to you personally to make that move if you feel its necessary. So how do we do this? How do you breakup with out making it a mess or a complete heart break or surprise? Its really pretty simple……..

TELL THE TRUTH! First off, you would think “duh Marty”. But no, we usually lie when we break up because we don’t want to hurt the other person. Well, I mean, that is OK if it really doesn’t hurt the other person, but it usually always will, so don’t do that. If you break up in a fight, then its usually the “brutal truth”, which just kills the other person, and then leaves you to feel like a jerk and then its that back and forth thing that takes about a month to stop, then the text fighting etc etc. Its really not worth it. Now, I am the guy, who gives all the advise to my buddies, why, well because I do give good advice, but just like everyone, I rarely take my own advice, its just hard to do. What I usually tell people is “picture your best friend in your situation, what ever advice you would give them, use it for yourself”. And MAN, would you be surprised how true that is. So on that note….

Be honest, tell them the truth. “I am sorry, your great, but its just not you for me, and I am not the one for you, and I wish you the best of luck and please do stay in touch because your a great person”. I mean, obviously they are a good person, or you wouldn’t be dating them. But its like this, we have all known in every relationship that didn’t work out around month 3-5 that it probably isn’t going to be “the one”. But we stick with it anyways, why, because its comfortable, its safe, its realistic. STOP THAT!! Love should never be comfortable, it should be like the middle of a skydive, or the moment before you leap. It should be like that all the time. Never boring, or unhealthy, never tired or sore, never weak or on a seesaw, never. So be straight up, and selfish when it comes to relationships. Be with who you WANT to be , not who wants to be with you! Its not fair to yourself, its not fair to them. 

Me personally, well, I am looking hard. And yes, I am picky, but you know why? Because when the time comes, I will have the woman that I have been waiting for this entire time, and I don’t like to waste time. Both for my benefit and theirs. You should always have that “perfect map” for the person you want. If you want them to be into movies like you are, or music like you are, or fashion, or be sentimental just as you are. Those things matter so much more than anyone ever dreams. Whether they are just nice, or haven’t done anything wrong shouldn’t matter. What matters is that you can sit, talk, laugh, love, communicate, and melt… all at the same time with the same person. So if your in a situation as several of my friends are, be selfish, because in the end guys and girls, you will be more happy than you can dream, and one day you will see them just as happy, and its because you made the choice to allow them to be that way and yourself to be that way. Its a hard thing to do, but in life, usually the hardest thing to do, is the right thing to do. Until next time…

MB

Been a long time since I have really blogged about something rather than music. Have been getting some complaints from fans… so whatever! HA, ok tonights post is inspired actually by my day today. Its funny really, you can just be breezing throughout the motions of life and then get slapped in the face with something crazy awesome. 

So its called” what should you do” for a reason. We all make decisions, every, single, day. Some of them are normal, like I need toothpaste, or I need toilet cleaner bc, um, DAMN… or maybe its things like , ‘oh crap, I forgot about that yogurt in the back of the fridge, you know what, I am not even opening it to look, going straight in the trash lol’, you know you’ve been there. But today I was hit with an odd/weird/beautiful/situation…. and I will explain without exploiting.. as usual.

For those who know me, I am a persistent, hard working, and motivated person. For what I have done for music (my true passion) and to say I did it myself, sure, I pat myself on the back with that. But today I…. ok… how do I say this, came across something that I can’t have right away?…. maybe thats a good way to say it or the best to be safe haha. So when I sat back and thought about it, I thought about my music, and the passion I had for it, how far I have taken it, with the million obstacles in my way. Why don’t we push that towards our every day decisions right? Its funny really when you think about it. We don’t think about the little things, we think about the BIG things only, the BIG picture only, the BIG moment only. 

At the moment I found this out, I could of easily copt out, and left and walked away. But this time, for the first time, I said no… Maybe it was something inside me or something along the lines of how I was raised, or passion that I have on a crazy level lol. But I told myself no…. I am going to pursue this, because I see something HUGE coming out of my pain that I am setting myself up for. NOW THAT, is what this is really about. Lets face it, we all take the easy way out probably around 70% of the time. Yea we do, if you don’t believe me, take a look at your trash can lol, I bet its stacked to the top because balancing that last little bottle was way easier than just taking the trash bag out. And if your trash is not like that, I can guarantee it has been, don’t you lie to me! lol 

I know what I am setting myself up for… there is going to be a little pain, there is going to be a little frustration. But what we don’t realize is that broken bones heal stronger, broken hearts mend harder. If a building comes down, we build something greater there, right? So why not!? Why don’t we start doing the things that are HARD now, so they become perfect later. It really comes down to passion, love, and what you want. If you want something, work for it, no matter WHAT it is. Even if its that little piece of meat that has been stuck in your teeth, that you have been trying for about 3 hours to get out. You know floss would take care of it in a second, but no, we prick, pry, and try to manifest some sort of tooth pick rather than take the easy way out. Thats because you want the pride finally of all that hard work,or maybe thats just me…. I dunno, gosh, I do hate that btw…. 

So what is this crap all about? I, like to keep my life private, and I do. But its about TRYING, and really TRYING. We try here and there, but when do you really put in the effort?  Today just made me sit back and realize that if I am patient (which is rare lol) and really allow myself to realize that with some hurt, pain and passion, I might get what I want. Its funny, we don’t really dissect the little things you know? I like to do that, its the little things that matter. Its not the flowers you get on valentines day that matter, its the ones you get on a random tuesday (talking to the ladies lol). Those are the things that matter. So work hard for what you want, no matter what it is. It could be anything in the world, don’t give up, be yourself and really earn it. We need to start looking at the bugs rather than the field, its the little things. 

More posts to come as promised… sorry I have been so far away everyone, so cool I have over 10K followers on this thing, its nuts honestly, but it means I guess you guys like my random rambling, either that, or you take my really awesome sayings and Facebook status the hell out of them, either way, know it matters, so matter today in a way that changes someone…….. much love.

MB

Hey y’all… yea I said y’all. OK well couple of updates coming your way. Album artwork is in the works. Album cover is finished and I will put the finished project up on the site and all my feeds when its finalized. The store is up and running on the site. As of right now, just a couple of things are up, however the merchandise order is in and ready to go. A couple of tidbits about the upcoming merch. Their will be a guys only shirt, grey v-neck, great look and logo in the front. Then their will be a unisex shirt that is coming out, with a unique design in the front. A girls only shirt, this is the boxy style shirt which hangs off one shoulder, awesome design, girls will love that. And of course, for the girls (and boys will thank me) I have some boy short underwear coming your way as well. These have all been placed, they will be modeled and put on the sites store and will be available for order immediately when they are released. Also we are going to do a pre-order for the INTERMISSION album before the concert release. Tickets for the release show will have a date soon. Also we will have an announcement of the opening act very shortly. You should all be excited about that. Hope you all are well, please do sign up for the members section, its free, no spam mail, and you will get discounts for all that join. Including tickets, merchandise, and much more. Hope you are all doing well and be kind to each other…